Written by: Family Dynamics, Psychological Counselor, Lai Shun Mei

Every time a child does homework, he or she falsely claims to have a stomachache, to go   to the bathroom, or to go to sleep—thousands of lies and excuses. Parents who value        character development are naturally outraged because they have zero tolerance for           dishonesty in their children. But why do children always avoid doing their homework?     Why do they have to lie to cover it up?

Often, children avoid doing homework not because they don’t want to, but because they     can’t. Children want to be good and smart, but when they find out they can’t do their homework, they think they are not smart enough. When they find out they can’t do their            homework, they think they are not smart enough. They can’t accept this and will lie to       cover it up and avoid it. Generally speaking, children with normal intelligence but learning disabilities will have their academic performance affected to some degree, but they can      perform well in other areas as well. Regardless of their intelligence level, with the right     approach and the right amount of training, they will be able to develop the appropriate      skills.

But why do people tell lies? When a person feels that he or she is in an uncomfortable      situation, he or she will activate the defense mechanism to protect himself or herself. Lying is one of the ways to escape a crisis. If parents want to help their children, they need to     give them the courage to tell the truth so that they can understand what their children really don’t understand.

How do you get your child to be brave enough to tell the truth? You need to let your child know that even if he or she is not smart enough, you will still love him or her so much,     take pleasure in him or her, be patient with him or her, and work together to help him or    her solve their problems, thus building his or her sense of security and giving him or her    the peace of mind to reveal his or her innermost doubts and difficulties. But on the           contrary, if his experience makes him think that he is not smart enough, which will lead to his mother’s anger and complaints, he will not dare to tell the truth and even activate his     self-protection mechanism to protect himself with lies that adults can uncover at first        glance.